My Original Sin

Oh, it's carnival night
And they're stringing the lights around you
Hanging paper angels
Painting little devils on the roof

Oh the furnace wind
Is a flickering of wings about your face
In a cloud of incense
Yeah, it smells like Heaven in this place

I can't eat, can't sleep
Still I hunger for you when you look at me
That face, those eyes
All the sinful pleasures deep inside

Tell me how, do you know now, the ways and means of getting in Underneath my skin
Oh you were always my original sin
Tell me why, I shudder inside, every time we begin
This dangerous game
Oh you were always my original sin

A dream will fly
The moment that you open up your eyes
A dream is just a riddle
Ghosts from every corner of your life

Up in the balcony
All the Romeos are bleeding for your hand
Blowing theater kisses
Reciting lines that they don't understand

I can't eat, can't sleep
Still I hunger for you when you look at me
That face, those eyes
All the sinful pleasures deep inside

Tell me how, do you know now, the ways and means of getting in Underneath my skin
Oh you were always my original sin
Tell me why, I shudder inside, every time we begin
This dangerous game
Oh you were always my original sin

-Sir Elton John

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It's an awfully sleepless night. Swollen eyes, warm tears stinging my cheeks. Each teardrop represents a tear in my heart. My heart is wrenching so unbearably that I can hardly breathe. I think I might die of a heartache.

I look back in hopeless longing, reminiscing on the past; OUR past. Fond memories of the days when all you were ever capable of was making me smile. The times when I competely lost myself under your captivating gaze, when I could see a silver lining on every cloud and a ray of sunshine beaming through every storm.

I question myself painfully about how we ever ended up here. I'd always believed that there was a light at the end of every tunnel. Now that light just seems so obscure. I reproach myself, for I believe that there is no one else to blame. It's no use saying, "If only this... if only that...", or "I could have... I should have... I would have...". "If only" is just an illusion; a lame excuse with which I fail to comfort myself.

Nothing in this world can take us back to where we used to be. It's all over now, and it's gone... but not forever I hope. Despite my gradually dissipating feelings, I am adamantly clinging on to that very last bit of hope. There is something about you from which I just can't seem to break free. That small, fighting flame flickering on the inside. And I am desperate to rekindle it. We used to be able to fan that flame back to life, but I don't remember how anymore.

So I'm holding out that our empty promises will fill up and overflow, I'm holding out that overwhelming passion will sweep us off our feet once again, and I'm holding out that it will be you, and only you, for the rest of my life.